Well, I’m expecting Mr. Irresistible (post and pseudonym pending…) to pay a visit to me early this evening.
We haven’t been physically intimate in about a month, when I felt like I needed some time apart from him due to the separate complications of our lives.
He’s been in touch and when I called him with the dreaded chemo news the other day, he said he wanted to see me.
We sent a few texts back and forth today and when I mentioned I felt “blah”, his response was “don’t worry, I’ll cheer you up.”
Of course that could have been an innocent statement, but just in case is wasn’t, I thought I should prepare.
I’m not sure which beauty magazine, blog of maybe even the back of the package suggested that baby oil is just fabulous for shaving one’s legs, but I wanted to be extra smooth and touchable, so I decided to give it a go.
Bad move. Bad.
I used the Johnson & Johnson Gel version and it was a mess. That shit doesn’t rinse off, clogged my good razor, made my hands so greasy I had to exfoliate them before I washed my hair and left a slick coating at the bottom of my shower.
I had to hop out, grab a new razor and start from scratch. I scrubbed myself down, exfoliated that junk from my legs, washed my hands and shaved all over again–and you know what?? There were STILL those little water beads that couldn’t penetrate the oil.
I was about to run into the kitchen and grab the Dawn dish washing liquid before I came to my senses, grabbed a washcloth and the last bar if Irish Spring left behind by the ex and started all over AGAIN.
But no worries, this story has a happy ending. After an hour in the shower, I am smooth, clean, shaved, washed, shampooed, conditioned and ready for what ever it is that he feels will “cheer me up.”
And if it’s not what I quite have in mind, at least I have a beach date with my friends tomorrow. These silky legs are getting some kind of attention.
After what I just went through–they better!