I’ve never been in such a bad spot before. People tell me they admire my strength, but what they don’t know is how much I have to push myself not to give up.
Every time I have a date in matrimonial court, I feel like just giving in and saying “Your honor, I just want a fair settlement. I don’t have the strength to fight him anymore.”
But I push.
When I look at my gallon sized bag of prescription pills, I want to throw them all away (except for the good ones) and let my body do what it wants.
But I can’t. I have to push.
And with all this bullshit that I have to deal with stemming from the scandal, I feel like saying”fuck you all. I’ll do what I want.”
And I shut my mouth and I push.
Pushing is hard work.