I’ve never been in such a bad spot before. People tell me they admire my strength, but what they don’t know is how much I have to push myself not to give up.

Every time I have a date in matrimonial court, I feel like just giving in and saying “Your honor, I just want a fair settlement. I don’t have the strength to fight him anymore.”

But I push.

When I look at my gallon sized bag of prescription pills, I want to throw them all away (except for the good ones) and let my body do what it wants.

But I can’t. I have to push.

And with all this bullshit that I have to deal with stemming from the scandal, I feel like saying”fuck you all. I’ll do what I want.”

And I shut my mouth and I push.

I’m tired.

Pushing is hard work.


6 thoughts on “Push

  1. Keep pushing because pushing builds your endurance but you always have to remember that when you start getting tired of pushing u can’t rest a bit and ill push for u… We love u and can only empathize. You push for yourself cuz we’re here silently and not so silently pushing for you beeker.


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s